Behavior Foreign

Become a Feelings and Behavior Detective and Watch Love in Motion!

 Translate Angry   Translate Bossy Translate I dont want to go to school  Translate I’m Scared



Become a Behavior Detective with Time-In: A Proactive Empathetic Positive Parenting Approach!

Time-In: Teaches Parents, Babies, Toddlers the process of learning Emotional Intelligence.This process is called Emergent Emotional Literacy and takes place from birth thru adulthood.


 comments  ———————————————-

Ricki Lake Show : Hungry Tummy or Hungry Feelings


  • Braininsights Activity Packets

    This is a terrific article! Ava, you so clearly explain and give such realistic examples of something many families face daily. I especially like the suggestions you provide for parents to help children understand the difference between “hungry tummy” and “hungry feelings”. As you state, children do not have the awareness of this important difference.
    I of course also love your suggestions for PLEASE! Play, loving interactions, fun activity, focused attention , and nutrition are some of my favorite things to promote! Thanks for sharing your knowledge and caring for the benefit of families and children! ~ Deborah McNelis.
    • AvaParnass Listentomeplease

      Thanks Deborah so appreciate your feedback ,Glad you like the PLEASE:0 ..Your wonderful Braininsights activity packets for babies fits in right along with what I do
      Reply · 1 · Like · September 20, 2012 at 8:47pm
    • Deborah McNelis · Founder at Braininsights

      Thanks Ava! It is fun how much the Brain Activity Packets support all that you are promoting isn’t it!?
      Reply · 1 · Unlike · September 24, 2012 at 5:19pm
  • Wendy Warner Young · Michigan State University

    Ava,This is a wonderful introduction to many, I am sure, about the food-mood connection. I love that you provide strategies that parents can begin to put in place right away. It is a process to begin to become an emotionally literate family! As therapists, both you and I are reminded on a daily basis of the need to remind families to keep emotional literacy as a top priority. I have seen families completely transformed (on many levels) time and again, when they begin to “really talk” about how they are feeling. It is an amazing thing to witness! We know it works!

    I love your PLEASE acronym and how these examples are so easy to follow by any parents. Accessible and usable. So often, we tell parents what NOT to do, or what they could do better. Rarely do we give them specific, easy-to-implement strategies that help them move towards change more quickly. You are great at that!

    Wendy Young LMSW, BCD Kidlutions: Solutions Anger Toolbox for Kids.

    • Listentomeplease Ava Parnass

      Thanks so much Wendy for all the great feedback,as we always say its a surprise to most parents that kids feelings can get hungry both in the eating arena and behavior . Really well said Wendy as always, it is amazing to witness how kids are transformed by addressing their feelings.
  • Listentomeplease Ava Parnass

    I am honored and appreciate that my article is posted in the The Ricki Lake Show Magazine. I have met so many great new folks both as a Friends of Ricki and loved meeting some of the amazing ricki lake team! I am a huge fan of the new show and of Ricki and love the innovative TV. And As part of the 411Voices experts I appreciate being a part of all the fun and creativity.Love to hear what others think about asking your kids or yourself “Are your Feelings Hungry or is your Tummy Hungry?
  • Lissa Toole · Marymount Manhattan College

    Great article. Examples very helpful.
  • Shara Lawrence-Weiss · Owner at Mommy Perks

    Ava – I love writing our weekly articles together and now…seeing even more of your inside thoughts! 🙂 The PLEASE acronym is great – thank you for sharing that. I noticed, after our nanny moved, that my kids were asking for snacks… ALL DAY LONG. Every 30 minutes. It was driving me nuts. I knew, however, from reading your material over the months, that they were eating because of sadness (and a total upheaval in their daily routine). So I started putting stronger limits on their snacks and each time it got out of control (their asking for food), I’d say, “Let’s go outside to play now!” That certainly helped and things have subsided and gone back to normal.Thanks for helping so many parents!

  • Stress Free Kids: children’s books, CDs, and curriculums.

    Thanks to Ricki and Ava for bringing awareness and emotional intelligence to the Hunger Games. (couldn’t resist). Part of our parenting responsibilities include empowering children to understand their feelings and how to express them in healthy ways. Love the conversation examples.
  • Melinda Case Knight · Central Washington University

    What a wonderful and informative article Ava! I think children AND adults could learn so much from this novel and sensitive approach. I especially love the PLEASE for the Food Mood Makeover! This is a very helpful tool in fulfilling your child’s true needs. Thank you for always bringing such a hands on tools for parents to address a very difficult subject.
    • Listentomeplease Ava Parnass

      Thanks so much melinda ,appreciate your liking the approach and your compliments Novel & sensitive:) I really try to give parents new tools and new skills and songs they can use that work!
      Reply · Like · September 23, 2012 at 6:34pm
  • Beth Engelman · Columnist / Mommy on a Shoestring at The Chicago Sun-Times

    thx Ava ~ this is such an important topic and one that is close to my heart and so ingrained in my own life!
  • Dara Turetsky-Blaker · NYU

    Great Read Ava. It’s always important to have the communication tools to really find out what’s going on with our kids. Thanks for giving them to us.
  • Heather Parisi D’Andrade

    There are so many times and situations where eating is just a “because” situation where someone is truly not “hungry”. Today’s society overlooks the connection between our emotions and our actions. Eating is without a doubt an emotional reaction to a relationship or situation that is not “feeding” you. I definitely agree that Feelings are Hungry and that the world has an incredible need to feed individuals emotionally so that they become more in tune with their feelings and the truth about what they need. Thank you Ava for putting this in to words that can be shared with children so that they have the opportunity to grow up and become healthy adults.
    • Listentomeplease Ava Parnass

      Thanks Heather I so appreciate the great feedback and compliments . We totally agree we all need to become more in tune with their feelings and the truth about what they need. And I love how your game Flip2BFit gives families a fun activity and the tools to play and talk.
      Reply · 1 · Like · September 21, 2012 at 7:52am
    • Heather Parisi D’Andrade

      Thanks Ava! Building self esteem and confidence through movement and being able to get kids up and laughing through Flip2BFit has been an incredible journey in the fight against childhood obesity – My hope is that parents really take this seriously and recognize their role in helping their children be healthy from within so that they can be healthy on the outside as well. Looking forward to continuing to connect with you and continuing to find ways to give everyone the tools they need to live a healthy lifestyles. Heather Parisi – Founder
      Reply · 2 · Unlike · September 21, 2012 at 7:57am
  • Kiboomu Kids · Follow · Owners at Kiboomu · 142 subscribers

    Wow Ava! What a wonderful article about eating and eating disorders – or the start of them anyway! My husband is a binger/overeater, and I know for a fact that he had a hard childhood and was not heard. After reading your article, I can see and recognize patterns when he will eat because his feelings are hungry.I know a few people whose feelings are hungry as well. And it is a wonderful article that will hopefully inform parents how to recognize symptoms, and how to deal with them. I especially like the food-mood idea – and a chart or blackboard at the fridge would be a great idea too! To gauge your tummy or emotional moods!

    Bravo! Well done and congratulations on having been published in the Ricki Lake Show magazine!

    • AvaParnass Listentomeplease

      Thanks Wendy I so appreciate the feedback and compliments! ! I hope parents will start to help their kids this way and themselves.. hey lets make a chart together:)
      Reply · 2 · Like · September 20, 2012 at 9:37pm
    • AvaParnass Listentomeplease

      P.s I have the Feeling Town Map at the back of the book My Feelings Are Hungry it can hang on the frig, great idea:)
      Reply · 2 · Like · September 20, 2012 at 9:42pm
  • Tamara Maellaro · Covina High

    Great article Ava! I especially like the conversation starters. This is an important topic for many families. So often kids and adults eat when they are sad, angry, or bothered by something. This will help parents talk to their kids in a positive way. When parents see their kids gaining weight sometimes they can use very damaging words to try and get the child to not eat as much. My Feelings are Hungry helps steer the conversation in a positive way.
    • Listentomeplease Ava Parnass

      Thanks Tamara so appreciate the great feedback !! Its a topic I really care a out and I
      am trying to steer families in a more helpful direction!!!
      Reply · Like · September 21, 2012 at 12:59pm
  • Gittie Alster Farkas

    You have so accurately described daily conversations in my childrens’ homes. My kids are all grown, but my grandchildren are constantly asking for snacks and saying they are hungry when they clearly are not. They are usually just craving some attention, or one on one time with a parent in a busy house full of children and expectations. Your ideas provide a real and practical way to deal with this situation. Thanks!
    • Listentomeplease Ava Parnass

      Thanks so much Gittie for the great feedback! I appreciate it! yes kids dont know how to ask for attention unless taught! But they certainly know how to ask for snacks:)
      Reply · Like · October 9, 2012 at 8:56pm
  • Leah Schneider Derewicz · Phoenix, Arizona

    In an age when kids and health are becoming a hot topic, your article is very timely. I’ve always felt there was a connection between kids eating habits and emotions. I am always making sure my boys are active & playing, spending time together. My boys are so comfortable telling me about their feelings that they will ask to spend more time together if needed. I’m glad to see your article and LOVE the acronym, keep up the great work Ava!
    • Listentomeplease Ava Parnass

      Hi leah thanks for commenting! Thats so cool they can talk about their feelings and tell you when they need more time;) Mine too!! Its so great you are raising our daughters future husbands thankyou!
      Reply · Like · September 23, 2012 at 8:29am
  • Suzanne Remington · Follow · Carson City, Nevada

    Love the post, so much great information.Getting better insight on the food vs emotion relationship is definitely going to help me with understanding my kids (and all the other kids that roam my house on a daily basis) better.

    Love the examples and the acronym, I will be using them.

    • AvaParnass Listentomeplease

      HI Suzanne thanks for commenting I appreciate, what a great way to put it, yes I love helping the kids that roam my house too!!!
      Reply · Like · September 23, 2012 at 8:00am
  • Dana Robbins · Clark University

    This is such an insightful guest post! I know as a mother of three children that there are always many distractions and responsibilities in my daily life. But when I put time aside to listen and play with my children, I can see how much happier and emotionally fulfilled they are. In return, we all feel more satisfied. I am looking forward to hearing more from this author! Thank you Ricki! D. Robbins, C.S.W.
    • Listentomeplease Ava Parnass

      Thanks so much Dana for your great comment I appreciate! Its so true when we take the time to listen and play with our kids we are all happier and emotionally fulfilled . Great reminder!
      Reply · Like · September 21, 2012 at 10:36am
  • Naomi Richards · Follow · London, United Kingdom

    I love the acronym you use Ava and also the new response you use. I think we have to be careful when our children keep on coming to us for food and need to check out that hunger for sure. I think once we have addressed the feelings if they still feel hungry then we should give them a healthy snack. I think we can genuinely see a hungry child simply because they are growing! Great topic – thank you.
    • Listentomeplease Ava Parnass

      Thanks Naomi appreciate the comment and compliment!:) And of course kids are growing and can be hungry for real and I know its hard to tell the difference. So we dont want parents to start starving their kids either thanks for that:) It takes a while for kids to learn how they feel under the hungry so at first they may still ask for food .. I have found at the end of most playdates kids ask for a snack cause its hard to say goodbye. When I say “I know its hard to say goodbye” most of the kids forget about the snack. So its finding the middle ground!
      Reply · Like · September 21, 2012 at 9:24am
  • Jennifer Landis · New York, New York

    This is valuable advice in a time when we can so clearly see the toll of overeating through childhood and as we become adults. Setting up children with good eating habits, and trying to break the cycle of emotional eating from the beginning sets them up to healthier over a lifetime. P.L.E.A.S.E is such a simple way to think about it!

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