I heard many family stories over the holiday but was struck most by a mom who told me she finally figured out how her family can have a fun vacation when visiting her mother in law.  I was very curious how she went about this. I would love to know how others keep the peace or dont.
This Mom said  said her mother-in-law yells and scream whenever her kids or adults  leave little things out of place as she is a neat freak. Leaving things around makes the  Mother -In law is  so anxious that she  yells all the time and  everyone else is miserable.

Being a family of 5 kids and two adults the mom decided she was going to spend the whole vacation putting things away. She said this made her mother -in law so happy they all had a fun  pleasant visit no yelling no screaming. That is of course everyone had fun except this mom who after 10 days came home and slept for a week.. But the  Mom said she was “Taking One for the Team!”  which I very much admired but not sure I could do?!

Make your mother in law happy to keep the peace or not?   I would love to hear what other think about this?
What lengths do you go to or not to keep family happy and is it worth it or not?


8 Responses to What lengths do you go to or not to keep your mother in law Happy and is it worth it?

  1. I adore my mother-in-law! However, I know that there are many who have real conflict with theirs.. thus keeping the peace can be a challenge. Thanks for asking such a thought provoking question and I look forward to reading the upcoming answers!

  2. Shara says:

    My previous mother-in-law didn’t like me at all. In fact, during one family photo session they asked me to take the photo … so I would not be IN it. Very kind, eh?

    I’m no longer with her son.

    My husband now is wonderful and his mother adored me (and vice versa). Sadly, she had cancer and rather than put her into a home we had her stay with us until she passed away in our living room some time ago. I had just given birth 2 weeks prior (3rd child) and was trying to run my businesses, breast-feed and work around the Hospice folks for about 8 weeks. So I guess you could say that I went out of my way to make my mother-in-law happy but really, I didn’t feel as though I was going out of my way. It was simply the right thing to do for both she and my husband – he got to say goodbye to her right up until she took her last breath. Not many of us get that kind of closure and I was happy to give that to my husband and my kids. I just wish she WAS still around and we had more time together.

    • aparnass says:

      Thanks Shara I can always count on your for a beautiful well written piece ,I appreciate it !
      Sorry she isnt around anymore and what you did was amazing!

  3. Lynne Kenney says:

    Ava, What a shared experience for many. I think it depends on how much it takes to satisfy the MIL. If it’s a matter of working with individual differences and doing things to help one another feel comfortable and happy I would recommend being a giver and meeting in the middle. If it’s inappropriate requests and boundary-less demands, I would rec setting limits. Sometimes setting a limit by saying, “This is not working for me can we find another way?” is honest and much needed for the health of all. This q applies to marriage, mean bosses, insatiable teens etc. Can’t wait to hear sage advice from other moms and dads.

    • aparnass says:

      Thanks Lynne great advice as always, I will share with the mom:)
      I appreciate, I really had no great advice this time, except I dont think I could do what she did:);)

  4. Naomi says:

    When we stay with her because she lives out of town I abide by her rules and try and stay clear of her routine so she can get on and do her thing when we are there.

    • aparnass says:

      Thanks Naomi for commenting, Her house her rules sounds like a good idea:)
      I did that for 20 years with a relative then I couldnt take it anymore,she was unwilling to compromise i had to stop going to visit so often:(

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