From an Anonymous Mom: I need some mom advice… We let go of our nanny, gave her one week notice. In short she didn’t think she needs to answer my call, and was on her cell ALL the time while with my 2.5 year old. She said I should buy her a phone ?? Anyway we found a new nanny that starts soon that seems wonderful.; great references , musical background , art (my daughter is very artistic and sings all the time)… my question is this do I have her watch my child next week knowing she knows its her LAST ? or do I send her a check ? Im kinda worried now…
That’s hard when that happens with the nanny especially since we are really co-parenting with our nanny’s and our partners. Many families are also co-parenting with grandparents and or siblings. Every family is different. Its important to find someone that can support your families style and you can work well together. Children pick up tension and anxiety all the time.
I am glad you found someone that will work better! That being said keep in mind that your child is attached to the nanny and is too young to understand that you’re doing something better for her. I wouldn’t leave her alone with the nanny next week, but I would allow them to say goodbye!
Closure and goodbyes are very important even when you cant co-parent well with your nanny, because your child is attached to this person, regardless of how you feel. Helping your child with her feelings for the next week or month is very important! Maybe have a pretend goodbye party at your house next week when you give her the check. And over this weekend play with some of the stuffed animals that nanny is saying goodbye, she has to go and let the child know it’s not her fault. You can say “saying goodbye is hard but mommy and daddy will help her with her feelings, and somebody new will come play with her!
The book Listen To Me Please has some good illustrations and words that in combination helps baby’s and toddlers manage hard feelings.
Here’s what mom did
None of the above:)
Her response: My child (2.5 yrs is too young to have feelings about her babysitter of more then a year.
I am going to hire a one week nanny-
Here is what I say
It always saddens me when parents don’t understand that babies/toddlers have feelings too. But I was happy to talk to another family that loved this advice and handled the problem situation with their nanny in a more psychological kind fashion.
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