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Feb 13 2013
We have a guest post this week from @yesmykiddidthat website
Its so nice to get together on twitter with so many like minded folks with similar funny ideas!

“My daughter always likes to make up games, and create her own set of rules. Usually meaning she is always winning or the game is just meant for a five year old. Well when she asked to play hide and seek, I was pretty excited. My goal was to hide in the best place so she could not find me. I was quickly thrown off when she said, “Now, go hide, but make it reallllly easy to find you so I don’t get scared. If I can’t find you, I get scared really fast.” I couldn’t help but laugh. Even though hiding wasn’t too fun, playing it with my daughter is always fun.

Ava’s Funny Facebook Twitter 

R sings and performs at a club downtown once a month, she just loves to sing! For a year or more she didnt talk to the audience, she got up sang and ran off stage.Now that she is getting more comfortable we practice telling a short funny story. So this week we practiced the story “how her teacher is so organized she keeps cleaning R’s Locker! As you can imagine R is not thrilled about this so she only opens her locker a inch now and shoves her books in, so the teacher cant see her mess.

Personally kids have so much to worry about the locker is not on my list..So Instead of telling the above story R gets up and says, hello everyone “I tried out for the lead role in school play, not only did I not get the role, I didn’t even get the understudy or any speaking part” “whats up with that?” “Well anyway when I am famous and singing at madison square garden, I am going to say “I bet you regret not giving me the lead role now” (lol)
I Ava say, “Job well done Confidence has been Learned” (lol)

Feb13 2013 Shara’s Funny   Facebook  Website  Twitter   

My daughter colored a picture for her teacher a few days ago. She sent it to school in the binder in the ‘leave at school’ spot but the teacher didn’t take it. I explained to my daughter that she had forgotten to put the teacher’s name on there, so the teacher wasn’t aware that the picture was for her. I offered to write the teacher’s name on the paper. My daughter replied, “Do you know how to spell her name? And please make sure you use your FINGER SPACES, too. Thanks.” LOL. Yes……..I remember that from Kindergarten, thank you.

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Jan 23 2013   Shara’s Funny   Facebook  Website  Twitter    Video on left: Shara’s Social Media Satire is Hysterical

choosy business’s choose Shara @MommyPerks  socialmedia tips : from a Superstar

Ava’s Funny Jan 23 2013  Facebook Twitter 

Video on right: Rebecca age 10 made a hysterical animation for kids of My Feelings are Hungry not my Tummy

   


Ava’s Funny Jan 16 2013  Facebook Twitter
         
  Lucky for me Shara has two funny stories this week see below:)
I got a fantastic t-shirt and hat from shara at mommyperks   Website  in the mail today.  I was so excited to get it, I had it all of 5 min when it was comandered by R.. I am sure you have all been there!:)
But I am happy to share!
Jan 16 2013   Shara’s Funny   Facebook  Website  Twitter
My daughter was doing her homework at the kitchen table (Kindergarten). I was helping her. She had to shade in various numbers with different colors. She said, “Mom. I love the number nine. It’s my favorite number.” Then she said, “But I hate the number six.” I said, “You do realize that if you turn a 9 upside down, it’s a six, right? She said, “Yeah. I don’t care. I still hate it.”
 Shara’s other Funny: 
I made my daughter a snack that included some mandarin oranges. She said, “Hey, mom. Where’s my fork? You forgot my fork. Can      you please get me one?” I replied, “I just eat mine with my fingers.” She said, “Um. That doesn’t mean I HAVE TO COPY YOU!”
 Jan 9 2013 Happy New Year All!

 Shara’s Funny   Facebook  Website  TwitterWe were at Wendy’s the other day and my daughter (5) dropped her water. It spilled out and she told me to go ask the guy to re-fill it. I said, “Nope. You spilled it and you are perfectly capable of asking him to fill it for you.” She yelled out loudly from her chair, “I can’t do that! I’m the shyest kid EVER!” LOL. That’ll be the day.

Her brother (4) goes, “Here. Give it to me. I’ll do it.” He marched up to the counter and handed the clerk the cup. He said, “Please put more water in this. Thank you.” Amazing how different kids can be but it’s fun to watch. Even if it does give me a headache.

Ava’s Funny Jan 9 2013  Facebook Twitter  My Funny is self explanatory click here  R writing a new song and cat antics

As  Nathan P host of spoken word in NYC and amazing poet   reminded  me ..Johnny Carson said “Never compete with a child  or animal they will upstage you every time! So true!


Ava’s Funny Dec 12
 Facebook Twitter

R has drama twice a week this year that she is enjoying but she is also missing some of our play time.
So to ease the transition I stop by at dissmisal to say hello for 5 min.
Apparently the teacher may have said something about her being late..So she comes out of school one day and tells me ” I wrote this note for you to give the teacher” (lol) Luckily she is still quite young and didnt understand how funny or ironic it was:) Click on the note to read! If you cant read it here is what it says:)

The note is written by my child from me!

Dear Mr. T

Me and R(my child) are used to having a lot of hours every day. R comes down for five minutes before drama to say hello. I would appreciate it  if you didn’t mark her as late for this 5 minutes!
R who is 10 years old signed the letter with my name;)  Sincerely Ava
She then wrote:) If you have any questions please email me,  and wrote my email, and then put my website down, and said thanks(lol)
Luckily she handed it to me not the  teacher..and the beat goes on, Kids really are funny!

Dec 12 Shara’s Funny   Facebook  Website  Twitter

We were driving home one afternoon and my kids were TIRED. They get grumpy when tired, of course. My daughter was talking rudely to us, from the back seat. I said, “I’m certainly not giving you your way now.” She replied, “I wish you were all dead!” I didn’t react. We’ve been through this before. She is very dramatic and sometimes says things she doesn’t mean. Soon enough, she’s in tears, saying sorry.

About 3 minutes later she said, “Mom. Can you please give us some hot chocolate when we get home? Please?” I replied (with a little chuckle), “Sorry. I can’t hear you right now because I’m dead.”

She leaned over to her younger brother, who loves to play make-believe super heroes. She said, “Hey, Jack! Use your super powers to bring her back to life! Quick!”

 

Dec 5 Shara’s Funny Facebook  Website  Twitter  Lucky for me Shara and Shara’s kids  continue to be funny!
The other day we (Shara & Family) spent several hours in the Valley, touring homes and visiting with friends. We were gone for 13 hours. We stopped by a church for a meeting, at a school for a fund-raiser and at a pizza place to have lunch with friends. We then went out for dinner – it was a LONG day. My kids were really tired, on the two hour drive home. My daughter demanded that I stop to buy her a new pink dress. I said, “I don’t take children shopping when they are demanding things from me.” She said, “My ENTIRE family is now on my NAUGHTY LIST!” LOL

 

 

 

Ava’s Funny   Facebook Twitter

This week I had two of the funnies tweets from a  kid  (at least I think it was a child:)

First he said  “I love you very much no matter I don’t know you.” Then the next day he tweeted

“Don’t get married. I have 2 cousins in middle school. You can pick whichever you like best.” #funnythingskidssay RT  thats adorable:) @Celebr8Children  @ListenToMePleas

 

 

 

 

Wed nov 28 2012

I am very glad this week  to feature the Ever Funny, Clever Eric Ruhalter     www.TheKidDictionary.com along with the brand new holiday book trailer here: http://youtu.be/9pyxJwItocA.  (twitter)  @KidDictionary Facebook 

 

Eric really knows  how to put words to the funny things kids do, that we notice but don’t think  to say out loud….

BOOTALITY
(boo-TAL-it-tee) n.:
A child’s notion that “Keep your hands to yourself” means it’s still okay to kick.
Why is it that kids can’t keep their hands to themselves? I know my brother and I tussled nonstop throughout our formative years. It was just what we did any and every time we were together. Some people enjoy playing checkers. My brother Chris enjoyed issuing me body slams, hip throws, and painful wrestling holds, mostly illegal, that stretched me in ways that I’m lucky not to have ripped. And while I did not enjoy it, my attempts to escape were largely unsuccessful.
“Keep your hands to yourself” was the rule. But there were only rules in the presence of our Mom. No parents, no peace.  And with our basement playroom 2 floors below where mom typically spent her time, there was rarely peace. Only when our Mom would come down intermittently to pull him off of me. And bring us popcorn.
Sometimes she’d assert that we’re always touching each other because we love each other so much. I remember that not resonating as at all true. “Love” him? The guy who mockingly parroted back to me almost every single phrase I uttered throughout my youth? The guy who used to kneel on my shoulders and alternate between covering my mouth and nose with his cupped hands, and briefly letting go so I could gasp for air and plead for my life? (It would not have surprised me to hear that he was the underground evil mastermind behind the U.S. Military’s water boarding )  Did I “Love” him? I suppose I did on some level but it was not especially recognizable at this phase in our relationship.
Fast forward 30 years and I’m a dad with two fighting-aged boys. And they knock the crap out of each other sometimes. Nothing like what I experienced, but they’re going at it, and it’s off-putting to see two children you love be so venomous toward one another. But I could take solace in my own history.  For, as much as we threw down as children, my brother would become and remain my best friend. He still is today. So maybe I believe that beating the snot out of one another is what makes two brothers love each other. Here’s hoping.
 Eric Ruhalter is the author of a funny gift book for parents: “The Kid Dictionary: Hilarious Words to Describe the Indescribable Things Kids Do.” See more of his words in the stupendous videos at www.TheKidDictionary.com or watch the brand new holiday book trailer here: http://youtu.be/9pyxJwItocA

 

 

Shara’s Funny Nov 28  Facebook  Website  Twitter  Lucky for me Shara and Shara’s kids  continue to be funny! I got nothing this week..

Last weekend, we volunteered at the town fund raiser, running the kid’s craft area. Across the room, there were treats and hot chocolate. My kids walked over to get some hot chocolate and our friend Bill was there to help them. A moment later, my daughter came walking back over to me. She mumbled to herself in confusion, “Ladies first. Gentlemen must wait. What the HECK does that mean?” I stopped, looked at her, and laughed. I said, “Oh. Well, Bill is 84 years old. He believes that girls should always go first and that boys must wait for the girls. I bet YOU think that’s great, eh?”

She rolled her eyes and said, “I have no idea WHAT you are talking about.”

I went on to say, “You’ve never heard dad or I say that before, I know. We teach you and your brother to take turns and to allow the other person to go first –out of kindness. So this is all new to you, I know.”

Thanks, Bill. LOL.

 The END:  Whats your funny story please share it with us!!!

Ava’s Funny Facebook Twitter

Our kids are watching what we do and say at all times..

I bumped into the previous owner of our building and gave her a hug and said how is everything. After we finished talking and left R says “wow you really changed . I said what do you mean ?

R said years ago you used to not say hello or be really friendly. But now you really working it went for it, you are friends.  Its fascinating that kids notice how relationships evolve, how we do things and can comment on it.

 

 

Shara’s Funny Nov 14  Facebook  Website  Twitter 

I was watching TV with my daughter in the bedroom and she said, “I wish we could spend time alone, every day.” I said, “Oh, yeah? You would like that, eh?” She replied, “Yes. I think all kids should get to spend time alone with their parents. There would be less fighting.” I asked, “Between whom?” She answered, “You know. If there’s more than one kid in a family. Each kid needs time alone with the parents. Then they’d fight less.”

 

Rather philosophical, I think. She’s only five. I was happy that she felt as though she could articulate these feelings! In addition, I’ll be working harder to give each of my kids that special one-on-one time they crave.

 

Shara’s Funny Nov 7  Facebook  Website  Twitter 

My daughter asked me, “Mom. What is that little green thing for, on the end of the tape? Why is that there?” I replied, “So that the person who buys the tape can easily pull it out and get the roll started.” She said, “Oh! Yes. That is what I thought.”

I said, “Oh, yeah? You assumed that, did you? That was smart!”

She replied, “That’s because I have a good brain. I have a brain that THINKS.”

Shara  Thanks g-d for brains that think:) What a funny smart kid..love this stuff

Ava’s Funny Facebook Twitter

R came home from school and told me she lost the election. I said  honey I’m sorry that happened. R said thanks, but J was really amazing, her speech was great she desereved to win. I said wow that is really grown-up of you.
R said well I’m glad I had the experience, I  learned  from it to be more interactive.  I said wow that’s great, I am really impressed its not easy to lose and be so gracious.  R said I’m not worried, if the grown-ups  were the ones  voting, I would’ve won with my speech (lol)  And  if I  sang my speech  I would’ve won too. You can’t  be great at everything… (lol) I was glad to see a healthy dose of self esteem.

 

 

Shara’s Funny oct 24 Facebook Website

We were sitting in the car, waiting for my husband to come out of the store.
My 5 year old said, “Waiting for dad is taking too long! We need to get out
of the car and play on the playground. This waiting is NOT waking my brain
up, mom!”

Ava’s Funny Oct 24 Twitter @listenToMePleas Facebook

This is not so much funny as interesting. My neighbors child is 15 months old and says a few words here and there but understands most things. She loves running around up and down the hall while I chase her. I generally run after her and we laugh when I catch her and hug. The other day I had my eyes dilated by the eye Dr when I bumped into her. Although we know kids understand and observe so much, every time something smart happens I am still surprised and re-reminded. She looks at my face, see’s my dilated eyes, points and says “eyes”..and gave me a hug…Toddlers rock!

Shara’s funny week of oct 17 Website facebook twitter
Not long ago a song came on the radio called, “There’s gonna be a heartache tonight.” My 5 year old said, “Mom? What’s a heartache?” I replied, “It’s sort of like when someone is sad. Something happens to make you sad and it hurts your heart. That’s called a heartache.”

She said, “If it’s sad, why is this song so happy? The singer sounds VERY happy? That makes no sense.”

Ha. She is right about that!!

Then yesterday, my two younger kids ran off to the trampoline. I told them to come inside because the weather was turning cold and they were not dressed warmly. My daughter replied, “If you don’t let us play outside right now, I’ll get a headache. Actually, I think I’ll get a HERARACHE. That’s right. A heartache, mom!”

Ava’s Funny Oct 17 facebook
Twitter
I am just going to have to live with the fact that Shara is Just funnier:)
I was talking with R and her friend who was telling me the story how the teacher yelled at her for no reason. She was just standing waiting her turn and minding her own business when the teacher said harshly ” you should be over there not here” I said I am sorry she was mean,thats hurtful! I guess grown-ups are not perfect” R pipes in But you are PERFECT!!! How wonderful!! And in case you are wondering I was perfect untill yesterday when I made a face(lol) about forgetting to do homework again….(lol)

Shara’s Story this week! I Love this story! Its great when teachers and parents work together and agree on a topic;) website Twitter facebook

Shara oct 10
So we had my daughter’s parent/teacher conference today. She said, “I wanted to ask you about something. A while back I was telling the kids that they need to say sorry when they upset someone. Sammy told me that her mother said I’m WRONG.”

LOL.

So we ended up chatting about it and the teacher totally agrees with me – that you don’t force it… but rather… you work on the behavior and not just “Say sorry and be done with it.” We are on the same page, in fact. Anyway, my daughter thought the teacher was telling her that she JUST needs to say sorry and that saying sorry makes everything better. So she made sure the teacher knew I did NOT agree with that.

The teacher said, “So now I have to say it differently to make Sammy happy. I have to say to the kids – ‘It’s nice to say sorry but it’s actually MORE important to change the behavior. Please say sorry if you want to but we also have to stop the behavior that made you need to say sorry in the first place.’”

Funny!

Ava’ Story this week Wed Oct 10

I am hopeful this phase of being complimented by R will last a while. And I do wonder whats going in her mind kids about what she is learning from me. Kids are so interesting ! R said I was a great role model for kids;)
And that I Juggle everything well like the movie with Sarah jessica parker “How does she do it” Very high compliment indeed:)
oct 3
Shara’s Funny this week is hysterical!! I Ava really dont need to write anything as Shara is so funny all the time.

Shara: Website Facebook Twitter
The other day I was pulling hairs from my head, that were already coming out. A lot came out. I said, “Man – I am losing so much hair lately.” My 5 year old asked, “Why, mom?” I replied, “I always lose a lot of hair when I’m breastfeeding. It happens with every kid.” She goes, “Um. What? Why would you lose hair when breastfeeding? You don’t feed her from your HEAD!”

Ava’s Funny Facebook Twitter

R saw me doing business with one of the new tenants in the building. And as she is 10 now she can wait somewhat patiently for a few minutes while I shmooze:) After I was done,She said “You Go Girl”, You were really working that great! I was hysterical that one she recognized what I was doing and two she thought it was great!!! Please share your story with us!


Shara’s Funny this week Website Facebook Twitter
I said, “Oh, what cute flowers all around!” She replied, “OH, mom. Those are not flowers! Those are God! He is all around us!” It was super cute and the God images totally look like flowers. LOL. Funny…
Double header this week from Shara

The other day my 5 year old decided we are not her family any longer. No sir. We had told her she might need to spend a few minutes in her room, to calm down, during a little tantrum. So I politely offered to help her pack. It began to rain & she turned around & said, “Fine. I will keep living here. Just so long as there is no more talk of me going to my room.” LOL.

 

 

 

Ava’s Funny Facebook Twitter
R is sitting around with her friend on a park bench talking about school. OMG could you believe The teachers essay,AWESOME!! yes So amazing.. Its GENIUS… Yes her friend reply so GENIUS.. R says of course its GENIUS the teacher is an English teacher …Hello…
And it was so sad. I hope I learn to write like that I LOVE SCHOOL!!
HA ha so funny just listening to them:) how did they know the essay was genius thats what I want to know..havent read it yet…

 

 

My daughter (age 5) asked me, “Mom. My friend Katie is 4. How old will she be on her next birthday?” I replied, “Samantha. She will be 5. You know that. You know that 5 comes after 4.” She replied, “I know that, mom. I just wanted to see if YOU knew it.” hahaha. She cracks me up.

 

Ava’s KidsRFunny Join me on Facebook & Twitter @Listentomepleas

R took me to the new gluten free store that opened and was giving me a  tour.I was so excited by all the products, that she felt I wasnt paying enough attention to her tour.

She was right.When we got out and she said “I wished you had paid more attention to my tour”, “I said I am sorry,I got carried away by the abundance..we can go back again and I will do better! At that moment we pass a screaming parent berating his kid,really humiliating him.So sad! I said to R “well despite my mistakes, I am probably 95 % better than most parents.” R says no, more like 99% better. Thank you screaming dad!! I love Mistakes that turn into compliments.

 

5 Responses to Kids Are Funny bring Bill to Blogging Featuring @Mommyperks

  1. aparnass says:

    SO Shara did you know;)(lol) Your kids are so funny

  2. Shara says:

    That was cute of R to say. You go girl! LOL. Takes me back to my own childhood…we used to say that in JR High.

    • aparnass says:

      thanks she is so funny..I know I thought you go girl was from back in the day but maybe it is having a renewal(lol)
      I love doing this post with you, I could not stop laughing about “you dont feed her from her head(lol)
      your kids are a riot I am so enjoying what they say:)!

  3. Tamara says:

    That is very sweet and funny.

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