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perfectI have been working with this mom who gave me permission to post this beautiful  e mail she sent me, in the hope of others learning from her mistakes.

What I love so much about working with this mom is, how hard she works to study all  the literature , how she consults with experts all the time to be  the best parent she can be. At the end of the day its not about the mistakes we make, but its how we fix and learn from them.

Children are very resilient  and they respond well to apologies  and new techniques !

Let me know if you think this is as great as I do, As the saying goes

“If I knew then what I know now” From the Mom:

Last week I apologized to my first born (now a teen). As I watched my baby  playing on the floor and attempting to crawl, as we stayed out of her way and allowed her to control her own body, I had a flashback to my son’s babyhood months. I shuttered and felt chills run up my back and neck.

Smack!

Smack!

I grimaced as I remembered smacking his little hands, each time he grabbed paper shreds from the base of our plastic plant. This was 13 years ago and to this day, it’ something I regret. Someone – a seasoned parent – had told me, “If your child keeps touching something, smack the hand until they learn.” Well, he never learned. NO amount of smacking made him learn. He’s one persistent bugger, even today, never giving in easily.

After about 6 weeks of my idiotic behavior I thought, “Why the **** don’t you just move the bloody plant and get it out of his sight?”

So I did. And that was that.

I apologized to my son for my behavior and he said, “It’s okay mom. You told me once that the first kid is always the guinea pig.” Haha. I replied, “Yeah, but I feel badly about it and I’ve learned so much about babies since then. I would never do such a thing now.”

He walked over to his baby sister and leaned down to kiss her. “Hey sweetie girl.” That’s what I call her, too. I’m glad he’s seeing me parent a baby in a different way than I parented him, as an infant. Hopefully that will help him parent as I do now and not as I did then.

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6 Responses to Great Parenting Story Why I apologized to my first born (now a teen).

  1. Shara says:

    It’s interesting, isn’t it? We often parent our first child in the same way our parents raised us. Then we learn to modify things, as we go, and become wiser. At least I HOPE we are all becoming wiser, as we go! :-)

  2. Ava says:

    Thanks for commenting Shara ! So true, the important thing is the moms
    Wonderful quest for what works best!

  3. Naomi says:

    We all continue to learn when bringing up childrne and I can imagine when my chidlren are older I will be apologising for many things although I am not sure what they will be yet.

  4. aparnass says:

    thanks naomi..ha ha yes….. I just apologized the other day for something and my child said “oh dont worry all my friends moms yell at them and you dont yell at me so dont worry about that”(lol)

  5. Dara says:

    Great read. Oh, the things I would do differently…or maybe not. Lol

  6. aparnass says:

    ha ha Dara thanks for commenting..hind site is 20 20 no:)(lol)

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